This post is a part of the With Love series.

Have you ever strived to look different, or to be like someone else? That was pretty much what I did all the time before I started my mirror work. Without affirmations from a BFF, that is often what we default to.

I only ended up finding faults in my current appearance instead of seeing the beauty that was already there. Just like Luke in the children’s book story, I looked at myself and completely disapproved of my appearance. I dreaded going out into the open every day, for fear that people would recognize the faults that I see in myself.

I dreamt of becoming like someone else – like the white, shiny, and magical unicorn in Luke’s story. I envied those perfect figures on magazine covers and started looking for the fault in myself. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I look like them? Am I not worthy? Where did I go wrong? I started placing the blame on myself.

In school, I wore braces and had my hair done in a perm (like in those 80’s movies). I dressed up in college sweaters that was way too big for me. There was no boyfriend that noticed me or took interest in me. I was shy and tried my best to hide my appearance. And so I ended up spending hours in front of the mirror, saying ugly things to myself and tearing apart my looks.

I continued this process for a very long time, both in school and after. Even today, I sometimes catch myself doing it again. It is an addictive act. Once you start, it is hard to stop.

What I really needed was a BFF, or someone that supported me and encouraged me.

So you might be in that same boat.

When you look at yourself the mirror, all you notice are the bad things about yourself. You find yourself ugly, unsuccessful, stupid, and worthless. All you can ever see is your flaws and failures. What can you do to change that?

Here’s how: Take another look! Change your thoughts and how you view yourself.

Do the following:

• Say three things about your looks that you are most proud of!
• Say three things about your achievements you are most proud of!
• Name three people that you love and who love you back!
• Say to yourself “I love you. I love you so very much!”

Change your thoughts, and you change your world.

– Norman Vincent Peale

Start being your own best friend (BFF). Start supporting and cheering yourself on. Best friends are there to encourage one another and bring out the best in one another. When you start doing this to yourself, you quickly see yourself in an entirely new way.

Remember to love yourself, and also to have patience with yourself. Accepting yourself takes time, and learning to point out the positive things about yourself takes time too.

Checklist for today

• Promise yourself to be your new BFF, and write it down.
• Recognize and write down 3 things about yourself that you are proud of.
• Recognize and write down 3 of your achievements that you are most proud of
• Start giving yourself compliments for that which you have recognized above.
• Recognize 3 persons in your life that you love, and who love you back. Then contact them and tell them how much you value them.