My grandmother was a dear woman. She was one of my favorite people in the entire world! I loved her dearly! During summer, I used to spend most of my holidays at my Grandparents house where she and I shared loads of fun and laughter. They lived on a farm in a small village close to my hometown.

But there was one thing my grandmother lacked in. She had many fears – things in life that she took a little bit more seriously than other people did. And inevitably, with me spending so much time with her, some of those fears washed over to me.

That is most likely how I got my fear of darkness.

Whenever I spent the night at her house, she would always close every curtain in front of every window as we were getting ready for bed. She was afraid that someone might be able to look in from outside.

There lived no neighbors for several miles away.

Her doings made me think that darkness was scary, and that we should hide it behind curtains. Darkness became an object of fear for me, filled with scary intruders and unidentified dangers.

It was not until I started meditation in my early twenties that I got over my fear of darkness.

Another fear that she had transferred over to me is  fear of thunder and lightning. Even today, as a grown adult, I have yet to overcome that fear.

My Grandmother used to tell me stories about how lightning had struck a poor woman’s bed at night.

And with this fear in her mind, she would act accordingly to try and keep us safe. Whenever there was a thunderstorm at night, she would wake us up and move us to a safer place. There we would sit and wait out the storm, quietly counting the seconds between each lightning flash and its associated rumble.

So today, I am still afraid of thunder and lightning. But the thing I try to fight every day, is to transfer that fear on to my own children.

During one stormy night last year, I was home alone with my two boys. They had already gone to bed when the lightning and thunder started. I was scared and stressed out, but my children were fast asleep, not taking the slightest notice of the thunder.

I was terribly afraid, waiting for the moment the lightning would strike the house and kill us all!

The fear drove me deeper and deeper into anxiety. I got up and started walking towards my children’s bedroom to wake them.

But then I asked myself, “Why?”

I wanted them to feel comfortable, safe, and secure. If I marched into their bedroom and woke them up, they would have certainly felt my fear and would have become afraid, also.

So instead I called my husband and made him comfort me. I left my children alone to sleep quietly, unbeknownst of my fear.

And today, whenever there is lightning and thunder, I try my best to show my children that there is nothing to be afraid of. At the same time, I also repeat these words inside myself, “You are safe. There is no need to fear!”

Be aware of how your fears may affect your children. Rather than trying to keep them safe, figure out a way to triumph over your own fear and, in so doing, keep them calm and comfortable.